NUMBER 8 THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS MAY 1, 1999  
         
 

Did Somebody Say Lawsuit?

In a shocking move last week, the McDonald's corporation announced that it is going to sue Picard42, PerceptorTFWW, Walky, and JHooksX, the creators of the World's Worst Fanfic.

The corporation is suing the creators for gross misrepresentation of its trademark characters in the Poketron fanfic.

"I can't afford the amount that they want! And even if we win, the lawyers are gonna suck us dry," cried Walky. "I'm too young to go to jail! Please!" Walky paused to quell a riot occuring in the Botcon that was going on in his anus. He continued, "This is a bum rap, man!"

Hooks was similarly distraught. "I don't have time for this kind of crap. Hold on honey, I'm almost done. I am deeply offended that they would accuse us of such a horrible crime. And why am I being sued? I didn't write the stupid fanfic. It was that moron Picard42! I'll rip his head off, dammit!" Hooks then went back to having sex with many anonymous partners.

"I mean, their portrayal of Grimace was totally wrong," claims a representative for McDonald's. "For one thing, they got the origin wrong. It's not some kind of wild animal. You see, one day, an employee dropped one of our eggs onto a piece of paper. We drew on a face and arms, and Grimace was born. Also, Grimace doesn't hunger for the taste of flesh. He only eats goats. Well, okay, so he eats children too, but only the handicapped ones. Are you going to print this?"

Picard42 was busy beating the tar out of PerceptorTFWW with a folding chair and could not be reached for comment.

 
         
         
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