NUMBER 7 THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS APRIL 1, 1999  
         
 

Rampage To Star In Romance Movie With Meg Ryan

This June will see the release of Universal Pictures' new movie starring Meg Ryan and Rampage, a newcomer to the film industry.

The film, entitled "You Got Tail," is the romantic account of two lonely people who find happiness with each other after they meet in a universe-threatening battle. Rampage is reported to earn $20 million for his starring role.

"A lot of people are thinking, 'Oh, great, another stupid romantic chick flick, they're ALL the same,' but I assure you, this one's different in one very important way," commented Ryan.

"You see, if this was a typical movie of the genre," explains Rampage, "we would spend two hours smooching an' stuff, but not here. After I meet the female lead, I invite her over to my place, see? Then, after a bit of flirting, I slice off her skullcap and start with the best part, the brains. After I've eaten the brain, I slowly consume the spine. Her terror is delicious, but her sinew is even better! Yummy!"

Ryan states, "There's a lot of romantic subtext in this movie. The characters really come alive to the audience."

"Yes, especially during the chainsaw scene. Test audiences loved that one. I think the part where my character draws and quarters Meg's character while chanting weird passages from Ancient Cybertronian religious texts really stands out."

The film, rated NC-17 for the unprecedented amount of senseless violence, will be out in theaters early this summer. If box office numbers are good, a direct-to-video sequel, "Blood Loss in Boston," will follow.

 
         
         
Back to WWNP Index
Questions, comments, complaints?
E-mail PerceptorTFWW (the one with the TFWW)

The Transformers and all related characters and indicia are the property of Hasbro, Inc.
All other trademarks are the property of their respective holders.
The proprietary content of this web site is intended as parody and is for private use only.

Copyright 1999-2001 Jason Golieb