Soundwave Speaks Out

I have feelings, right? Am I a fearlessly loyal soldier, with an unmatched dedication to the Decepticon cause? Am I deep and sensitive, capable of a wide range of hidden emotions?

No! Look, a lot of fleshlings have tried to make me out to be this way, but you have to understand—I have no emotions! That's my image! It's who I am! Why must you try to ruin that? "Oh, he's so caring, and he's a single parent, and he's oh so loyal, and blah blah blah BLAH!" Shut up! Primus, do you people know how hard it is to maintain a badass image when people say that kind of thing about you? The only emotion I have is anger at all of you jerks who keep badgering me.

And here's a special warning to those female humans who have been stalking me: ENOUGH! I am a robot, understand? I don't fall in love. I don't kiss. I don't even have a mouth! I don't have sex. I build things and kill Autobots. That's it. You can't make love to me and you can't carry my child. Oh, and another thing—those tapes aren't my kids. I didn't even build them; I got them at Kay-Bee. They cost me $3 a piece (on clearance).

So in conclusion, leave me alone, ya freaks! Geeze...

Back to WWNP Index
Questions, comments, complaints?
E-mail PerceptorTFWW (the one with the TFWW)

The Transformers and all related characters and indicia are the property of Hasbro, Inc.
All other trademarks are the property of their respective holders.
The proprietary content of this web site is intended as parody and is for private use only.

Copyright 1999-2001 Jason Golieb