|NUMBER 6||THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS||FEBRUARY 1, 1999|
Cheetor Stunned to Discover That He Actually Doesn't Like Pie
This morning, Cheetor woke up and proceeded to follow his normal routine. He showered, put on his clothing (all by himself!), and sat down for breakfast. He picked up his fork, took a bite from the cherry pie in front of him...and gagged.
"I couldn't believe it. After the first bite, I thought to myself, 'Good God, this stuff is TERRIBLE. What ever made me like it?' It was like a really bad dream," explained a disturbed Cheetor. "I used to think pie was the cat's meow, now it's not even ultra gear anymore. At this rate, it won't even be a cool confection for the cobalt cat in a few days."
This is disturbing news for Maximal leader Optimus Primal, who had just purchased a year's supply of Drake's apple and cherry pies for his young teammate as a birthday gift. "If that little jerk doesn't eat every last pie, I'm going to shove the leftovers up his ungrateful copper @$$!"
"What a little bastard," commented Silverbolt. "I mean, he walks around saying 'I like pie' for an entire year and it turns out that he doesn't like pie! Not only doesn't he like it, but he's disgusted by the mere sight of it. He's such a hypocrite...I'm totally disenchanted with the Maximal cause now. I wonder if Megatron needs troops. Geeze, I just can't believe that prick..."
Will this crisis tear apart the Maximal ranks in a way that can never be repaired? Rattrap's constant giggling and muttering of the phrase "Hehehehe, now YOU'RE gonna die!" would seem to indicate so. One thing's for surethe Beast Wars just got a whole lot weirder.
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