NUMBER 6 THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS FEBRUARY 1, 1999  
         
 

Rodimus Prime Makes Command Decision, Decepticons Die of Shock

It was a cold January night. The Decepticons stood on the verge of victory, ready to conquer the universe with the energy drained from a human power plant. Suddenly, Rodimus Prime made a decision that tipped the balance in the Autobots' favor.

"I pointed right at the Decepticons and said 'Autobots, stop the Decepticons,'" Rodimus proudly stated.

"The Decepticons went into cardiac arrest and the rest was simple," explained Springer. "The pure shock of Rodimus making ANY decision, much less a LOGICAL one was just too much for their fuel pumps."

"I must say, I was rather surprised myself," explained Kup. "But I always knew the lad had potential. He's so cool. I remember one time he refried my rubber bands until they were dishpan hands. Then he lent me his last orange peeler so I could properly cut my flange inducer. Wait, we're talking about John Ritter, right? Am I on Candid Camera?"

To what does Rodimus attribute this flash of inspiration? "Something just welled up inside of me. A voice inside my head—maybe it was Prime, maybe it was just the normal voices—told me what had to be done...we had to stop the Decepticons! I feel much more confident in myself as a leader now. Next time, we might follow through by actually attacking them! One step at a time though."

 
         
         
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