|NUMBER 5||THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS||JANUARY 1, 1999|
Transformers Universe Entries Reveal They Are All The Same Guy
It was a disturbing scene today when Marvel Comics released the brand new Transformers Universe mini-series, a collection of profiles of every Transformer imaginable, which revealed that most of the Transformers are the same guy.
"This is an outrage! Everybody knows my superior form is totally unique!" exclaimed Sky Lynx, Sunstreaker, Powerglide, Tracks, and Sideswipe. "How dare they say that I smell?" asked Landfill, Wideload and Blot. Springer was particularly upset that his entry said nothing about his way with ladies. Wheelie expressed similar concerns.
Perhaps most disturbed by the comic were leaders Optimus Prime and Megatron, the former of which didn't know how many of his troops were emotionally disturbed, and the latter who didn't know how many of his troops were ready to kill him.
"There's something wrong with a faction whose most mentally healthy soldier is Grimlock," lamented Prime. He then left to talk Slingshot and Gears down from a ledge.
Sandstorm, Brawn, Inferno, Hot Rod, and Twin Twist were also upset. "Those bastards said that we're aggresive and that we'll attack at the slightest provocation! We swear, we'll rip their goddamn heads off! ^$%^#$^!!!"
Skids, Tailgate, and Topspin, who were busy chasing a particularly funny looking squirrel, could not be reached for comment.
|Back to WWNP Index|
Questions, comments, complaints?
E-mail PerceptorTFWW (the one with the TFWW)
The Transformers and all related characters and indicia are the property of Hasbro, Inc.
All other trademarks are the property of their respective holders.
The proprietary content of this web site is intended as parody and is for private use only.
Copyright 1999-2001 Jason Golieb