NUMBER 4 THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS NOVEMBER 1, 1998  
         
 

Maximals Sue Predacons

Maximal commander Optimus Primal announced today that the Maximals will be pressing charges againt the Predacons for the wrongful death of their comrade Dinobot. If they win, they stand to gain over 30 million energon cubes.

"Eh, I mean come on, the evidence is all there," stated Rattrap. "Take a look at the crime scene. There was a purple hand laying there with a 'Property of Beast Wars Megatron' label on it." Megatron denies any involvement, claiming the hand can't be his because that label was made with a Brother P-Touch and he makes his labels with a Sears brand label maker.

Most clues do point to Megatron, however. Here is a transcript of part of the interrogation.

Red Alert: So Megatron, pretty hot under these lights, ain't it?

Megatron: Yessssss...

Red Alert: Gets you pretty mad, doesn't it?

Megatron: Yessssss...

Red Alert: Mad enough to KILL?!?

Megatron: NOOOOO! Yesssss...

Red Alert: Book him, Danno.

Daniel: But I can't reach him!

While it doesn't look good for the Predacons, Blackarachnia is sitting pretty with her top-notch lawyer, Donnie Finklecochrane. "My client is clearly innocent of all wrong doing. She's just being accused because she's a female spider. Remember, if the bot has tits, you must acquit."
 
         
         
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