|NUMBER 2||THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS||SEPTEMBER 1, 1998|
Daytime Talk Show Announces New Video Release
Following the amazing ratings success of the galactically broadcast daytime talk show, "Dinobot's TALK FOR YOU!," (distributed by Magnaboss Productions), the Elders in charge were pleased to announce that a 30-minute tape filled with censored footage would be released to the public.
"BS&P is....dishonorable. Their standards for broadcast are ludicrous," commented Dinobot at a recent press conference.
"The obvious next step would be to release to video," Elder Prowl continued.
"I am very much....pleased...by this direct-to-video plan. Dinobot has spoken. My rigid grill structure--"
"--Will also be featured in the video, in all it's UNCUT and UNCENSORED glory," Elder Silverbolt interrupted, smiling at the round of applause due to the announcement.
"TALK FOR YOU!" has recently reached its fifth season, and is now looking into syndication. Its ratings success has tripled that of previous daily hits such as "Tool Time with Tracks," "The Rodimus Pity Hour" and "The Me Grimlock Show." "Grimlock" recently hit a downward Neilson spiral as viewers suddenly realized that the show's content consisted entirely of Grimlock talking about Snarl's "large instrument."
At the press conference, the Elders were happy to allow a special preview of key footage in the uncensored video release. Things of note are lost minutes from the "I'm An Immortal Maximal Experiment And Like To Feed On Fear" and "I'm In Love With Powerglide" episodes. A quick snippet from "We Were Abducted By Aliens" seemed to catch approval with the audience as it featured Maximal Airazor opening her torso plate and shouted angrily, "Yo, you think you all that, bitch? What's these? What's THESE?! I gots da skills!"
"TALK FOR YOU! Too Hot For TV" should reach stores whenever the morons at Toys R Us and Wal-Mart want them to, as copies appear sporadically across the known universe.
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