NUMBER 10 THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS JULY 1, 1999  
         
 

World's Worst Newspaper in Trouble Again

On Friday, the Pumpkin-Headed People Association (PPA) announced that they would file suit against the World's Worst Newspaper for a picture that was used without their permission.

The picture, which appears this month in an article called "World's Worst Newspaper in Trouble Again," can be seen below.

"We couldn't resist!" yelled Picard42. "I mean, look at the picture. Who are they? What are they doing? Why is the one on the right giggling? Did the one on the left pass gas? Did he tell a dirty joke? I want to know!"

HERE, SEEN FOR THE FIRST TIME, IS THE EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE PICTURE OVER WHICH THE WORLD'S WORST NEWPAPER IS BEING SUED. AREN'T PUMPKIN-HEADED PEOPLE FUNNY? DON'T YOU WISH YOU KNEW WHAT THEIR FUNNY LITTLE SECRET WAS? AND WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO CRACK THEIR HEADS OPEN AND EAT OUT ALL THEIR SWEET, SWEET PUMPKINY GOODNESS? DON'T DENY IT, YOU KNOW YOU DO.

The PPA were infuriated at the use of their picture. At a recent press conference, a PPA official said,"They used the likenesses of our esteemed President and First Lady without our permission for their stupid little Transformer paper. And worse, they used it in a way that mocks and belittles pumpkin-headed people everywhere! This is definitely the greatest travesty ever to hit the United States Judicial System."

"We didn't mean it as an insult. We just thought the pumpkin-headed people were...um...attractive and we were trying to...uh...bring attention to the plight of these poor…uh…people. Yeah, that's it," explained PerceptorTFWW.

"I just don't get it. I keep telling these idiots to quit getting us in trouble," complained Walky, "but they keep pulling dumb stunts like this. I mean, these pumpkin-headed freaks aren't even cute. And what the hell does this have to do with Transformers anyway? I'm telling you, two or three more law suits and I'm quitting this rag."

Picard and Perceptor stated that they are looking forward to two or three more law suits.

 
         
         
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