NUMBER 10 THERE'S NO NEWS LIKE BAD NEWS JULY 1, 1999  
         
 

Jointron Brothers, Springer, and Arcee Circus to Open Next Month

Summer is here, which means lazy days out in the sun. It means trips to the beach and cool lemonade. And this summer, it means fun at the circus.

Next month, the Jointron Brothers, Springer, and Arcee Circus opens with a cavalcade of performing Transformers.

"I just can't wait!" shouted a visibly excited Springer. "It's going to be great entertaining so many people. And best of all, I get to be a human tamer and hit Daniel on the ass with a whip! It doesn't get much better than this!"

THESE TWO UNFORTUNATE FANS, WHO CAMPED OUT IN THE ARENA PARKING LOT THE NIGHT BEFORE THE FIRST SHOW, WERE TRAMPLED TO DEATH BY RAVENOUS HORDES OF CIRCUS-GOERS

Another act will be the Super Stiltwalking Aerialbots. Sky Dive commented, "I think people will really enjoy this act. It's so easy too. All we have to do is merge to form Superion and walk around. Once Silverbolt stops vomitting from the height, we'll be all ready to go."

Some of the upcoming acts were performed in a special preview showing for our reporters. It began with an unintelligable introduction from the Jointron brothers, followed by Scavenger's act, which consisted of juggling Waspinator heads with all eight legs. After this, Bumblebee pulled up and twelve Minibots poured out. They danced around and squirted seltzer in each other's faces, then swung around in the rafters until Huffer fell and broke his neck. Said Arcee, "They still have a few kinks to work out of their act." Whether or not the kinks are Tracks and Raul is currently unknown.

The circus holds their grand opening next month, where balloons and free energon will be given out to all who attend.

 
         
         
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