Carly Witwicky
Allegiance: Human
Function: Spike's Bitch
First WWFF appearance: The Death and Return of Optimus Prime

"Hi. I am Carly Witwicky. I like Spike. That is all."

Profile: Carly Witwicky grew up an orphan on the streets of Paris. Her parents, J.G. and Monique Dropadooker, died while she was only three years old. Investigators are still not sure about the cause of their death, but they reportedly had dinner at White Castle hours before. Carly made a living selling herself to lonely sailors until she was 15, when she began dating Spike Witwicky, who she later married. She has one son, Daniel, who may or may not be the third anti-Christ.

Abilities: Carly has no real abilities to speak of, beyond the ability to disappear when important events occur. She was not present when the Ark crashed on Earth. She was nowhere to be found during the attack on Autobot City in 2005. And where was she when her only son was paralyzed on the distant planet of Nebulos? Only Carly knows.

Weaknesses: Carly is just like any other human, so she is easily disposed of. However, since Megatron ignores all humans, no matter how detrimental they may be toward his goal, this isn't much of a weakness. A far greater weakness is her taste in men. She has a thing for men in uniform, which means that if you wear the same clothes every day, you're good for a quickie from Carly. Since she married Spike, Carly has had affairs with Kup, Omega Supreme, the gas meter reader, and the mailman from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

    
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