Quintesson Dave: No. I slept on one of my faces and now it's all creased.

Quintesson Burt: So what's on the agenda for today?

Quintesson Bob: I have to pick up some groceries.

Quintesson Burt: That's all we ever do.

Quintesson Dave: Well, we USED to have the Sharkticon pit until those jerks wrecked it.

Quintesson Bob: Wanna try to take over the universe?

Quintesson Dave: 'k.

Quintesson Burt: Sounds cool.

On Cybertron...

Rodimus (singing): You've got the touch! You've got the power (says in a deep voice "Arise, Rodimus Prime!" while transforming his Rodimus Prime toy)...YEAH!

Springer: Um, Rodimus?

Rodimus: Yes?

Springer: You've been in there for three days. Would you maybe, er, wanna come out?

Rodimus: Why?

Springer: So maybe you could lead the Cybertronian people?

Rodimus: NO! (singing) When all hell's breaking loose...

Springer pulls the plug out of the tub and the water drains.

Springer: Now get out. (points to his crotch plate) I have a bad case of Scraplets Simplex B.

Rodimus leaves the bathroom and steps out onto the balcony, where hordes of Autobots look up to him.

All: HAIL OPT...er...RODIMUS PRIME!

Rodimus: Um...carry on.

Kup: Rodimus, we have to go to the planet of junk, now!

Rodimus: Ok! Autobots, let's kick it!

All: ...

Rodimus: That's gonna be the thing I say when we go on a mission. You know, like, roll out? Let's kick it!

All: ...

Rodimus: Right.

Several Autobots pile into Sky Lynx and he takes off for the planet of junk.

Arcee: Well, here we are on the planet of junk.

Rodimus: Kup, since you did not tell me why we were coming here during our uneventful trip...

Kup: I know, Rodimus...

Rodimus: ...and since you are a blue, futuristic pick-up truck...

Kup: I know, Rodimus...

Rodimus: ...and since you're an old, senile fart with a small willie...

Kup: I know, Rodi...HEY!

Rodimus: ...I was thinking maybe you could fill me in.

Kup: Take a look for yourself!

Rodimus takes a look for himself. They see a bunch of Junkions standing in a straight line chanting what appears to be nonsense.

Junkions: daed si tta...daed si tta...

Perceptor (reading a Thesaurus): Bodimus! I am licking up beatings of Precepticons in the hexed lector!

Rodimus: ...what?

Perceptor: Fodder us! Bye ham nicking up feedings of Insecticons in the waxed nector!

Rodimus: I still don't follow you.

Springer: I think he's saying that there are readings of Decepticons in the next sector.

Perceptor nods.

Galvatron: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Arcee: Decepticons!!!

Arcee shoves her head in the sand.

Rodimus: Ok, we're under attack! Everybody put away your weapons!

All: ...

Rodimus: Guns aren't exactly friendly.

Cyclonus: Neither are we!

The Autobots put their guns away.

Rodimus: Bah weep grannah weep ni ni bong!

*BLAM BLAM BLAM*

The Decepticons melt Wheelie into a pile of slag.

Rodimus: Wheelie's dead!

Kup: And all hope died with him...

Jazz: NOOOOO! Wheelie, you lived like a moron ans died to an bastard.

Grimlock: Me Grimlock LOVE Kup's hope stories!

Kup: You're living one.

The Autobots destroy Wheelie's body WITH HONOR!

Perceptor: Rodimus Prime! I found some stasis pods!

Rodimus: Let's go get them!

They go to the stasis pods. The Decepticons follow. A stasis pod opens.

Ironhide: Leakin' lubricants! It sure does feel good to be out of this pod!

Ironhide sees his reflection, that of an elephant, in the pod.

Ironhide: I'm...gorgeous!

The second pod opens.

Inferno: It feels good to be alive.

Inferno looks over to the Autobots.

Inferno: Wait a minute...(points at Rodimus)...he's the leader?

The Autobots all nod.

Inferno: *SNAP* BWAAAAAAA!!!!! YOU WILL BUUUUUUUUUUURN!

Inferno flies over to the Decepticons. There's a loud banging on the next pod.

Prowl: Let me out of this pod! The great Autobot warrior Prowl does not deserve to be in this pod!

Prowl shoots his way through the pod and emerges.

Prowl: This new form is great! We can unite to form Magnaboss!

Ironhide: But Silverbolt isn't here.

Suddenly, Superion arrives.

Superion: Sorry I'm late guys. *GASP*

Silverbolt flies out form Superion and combines with Ironhide and Prowl.

Superion: Hey! Now I have a hole in my tummy!

Suddenly, there is a loud boom. Megatron emerges from his pod.

Megatron: Ah, I am once again alive, yessssss...and I have this weird speech pattern, yessss...

Galvatron: BWAAAAAA you may lead BWAAAAAAA!

Rodimus: Ok, we found the stasis pods, now aren't we supposed to have a big fight?

Arcee: But the soldiers aren't done coming out of the pods yet.

Rodimus: The fic is running long, you'll all have to just come out and say one line. That's it, one line, then we fight.

The pods each pop open.

Lazorbeak: I look like Terrorsaur and I changed the spelling of my name!

Insecticon: Um...I'm an insecticon.

Scavenger: And I am a Constructicon!

BW Grimlock: Me Grimlock kick butt!

Rodimus: Ok, enough, let's fight!

Rodimus Prime shoots his gun at Cyclonus. Cyclonus falls and lands on Lazorbeak.

Grimlock: You Beast Wars Grimlock pretender to the name!

BW Grimlock: Me BW Grimlock kill you!

The two Grimlocks fight for a while. Grimlock gets bored and steps on BW Grimlock. Grimlock scrapes him off his foot.

Inferno: BUUUUUUURN!

Blaster go to the corner for charge his electro-scrambler, but Inferno is waiting for him. Inferno jump on Blaster, take his gun and insert it

on Blaster. One down, a lot to go.

Megatron: hoooo!!!Inferno!!!!How nice to meet you!!!! But the next time, you should take an appointment! Yessss...But

unfortunatly for you, I dont think it will have a next time. Yesss...

Inferno "crazy": BURN FOR YOU!

The Decepticons continue to unintentionally re-enact bad fanfics with each other while the Autobots slip away.

Rodimus: We must figure out how to save the Junkions.

Junkions: daed si tta...daed si tta...

Jazz: Hey, maybe this is what's messing them up!

Jazz points toward a big TV screen showing Carnage in C Minor.

Kup: That must be it! That's what's messing up their brains!

Quintesson Dave: So, you have discovered our plan.

Quintesson Burt: Ah, yesssss...how...interesting.

Quintesson Bob: Sharkticons, attack!

An army of Sharkticons dressed as women attack.

Quintesson Bob: This is the last time we plan a scheme on Halloween...

A Sharkticon swings its purse at Springer, but he dodges out of the way. A second Sharkticon tosses his mace at Ultra Magnus while a third one uses the other kind of mace on Blurr.

Blurr: MyeyesmyeyesmyeyescomehereyousonofabitchI'llripyourthroatout!

Suddenly, there is a bright light and a choir sings high notes, so as to make the scene dramatic.

Voice: I have arrived.

All: *GASP*

Voice: I...am Echowarrior!

The choir stops. The Autobots and Sharkticons continue battling.

Echowarrior: HELLO! I'm a Maximal!

The Transformers pause for a second and then continue fighting.

Echowarrior: I AM FROM THE FUTURE!

Rodimus: Could you pipe down, kid? We're kind of in the middle of something.

Echowarrior: You will stop fighting now. I think I can count on your best efforts? (taps his chest)

Rodimus: But you don't control my sp...

Echowarrior taps his chest.

Rodimus: Ugh, fine. What do you want?

Echowarrior: I have come to stop the Quintessons' evil scheme. You see, I was watching an old G1 episode on TV and...

Ultra Magnus: A what?

Echowarrior: A G1 episode. You are all in a TV show called Transformers. I am from the year 1998.

Quintesson Burt: I thought you said you were from the future. That was 8 years ago.

Echowarrior: Yeah, well...

Rodimus: Go away.

WC Fields: Yeah, get away kid, you're botherin' me, NYOW!

Junkions: daed si tta...daed si tta...

Echowarrior: I must stop this evil scheme!

Echowarrior aims his laser crossbow at the screen.

Echowarrior: 'Til all are one!

*BLAM*

The screen blows up.

Junkions: We're...we're back to normal! Where's the beef?

Quintesson Bob: Unnnngh...

All: *GASP*

Kup: Look what you did, you little sh*t! A piece of shrapnel from that screen is lodged in Quintesson Bob's face! Well, one of them!

Rodimus: You hurt him...

Quintesson Bob cries. The other Quintessons and the Autobots comfort him.

Echowarrior: But I stopped their evil scheme!

Springer: Go away!

Blurr: Goaway!

Ultra Magnus: I can't DEAL with you now!

Jazz: Yeah, go away!

Echowarrior: Ugh, screw you guys, I'm going home.

Echowarrior leaves.

Rodimus: Let this be a new age for the Autobots, Junkions, and Quintessons! 'Til all are one!

All: 'Til all are one!

Ironhide: I'm getting a bit tired of this Magnaboss form. I'm practically forming the whole thing, you guys are freeloaders!

Silverbolt: And I miss being part of Superion.

Prowl: I guess we have a few things to take care of.

Superion: Like getting Rattrap's JUNK out of the hole in my chest!

Rodimus: Rattrap!

Rattrap: Hey...he was in another combiner!

Dinobot: Opportunistic vermin...Dinobot has spoken. My rigid grill structure...

Back on Earth...

WARendfeld: Hmmm...I wonder if Challenge of the Gobots is on...

THE END!