to Transformers: World's Worst!
Now we know what you're thinking. "What the hell is Transformers: World's
Worst?" First off, watch your language, asshole. Secondly, the World's
Worst FanFic started in February of 1998 when a boy named WARendfeld posted
his "fanfics" to alt.toys.transformers (ATT).
These were no ordinary fanfics. They were perhaps the worst pieces of
literature we'd ever read at that point. To give WARendfeld the mocking
he so badly deserved at the time, a few ATTers--Picard42, Walky, and Hooks--took
it upon ourselves to write a parody called The World's Worst FanFic.
Since then, the WWFF has evolved on its own into a series of general Transformers
parodies. While we continued for a long time to mock WARendfeld's character,
Echowarrior, who was a dolphin/bat fuzor with the head of a 12-year-old
boy (specifically, WARendfeld himself), along with the rest of his oddball
cast, we have also developed other running gags based on personality quirks
of the characters.
In August of '98, we created Transformers: World's Worst (TFWW), which
was initially just an archive of fanfics, along with the World's Worst
Newspaper, in which we mocked Transformers in a newspaper format. Later
came the screen shots and eventually Ask a Transformer section and all
the other miscellaneous crap.
Now we know what you're thinking: "What the hell is wrong with these people?
Have they nothing better to do than make fun of some little kid with poor
storytelling skills?" Well, no. We really don't.
Here is some information about the creators of Transformers: World's Worst.
PIC IN ALL HIS DIMINUITIVE GLORY, SITTING ATOP HIS THRONE. IF HE LOOKS
PISSED IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE PERC JUST IGNORED A "DIRECT ORDER,
MISTER." OH, AND DON'T BOTHER TELLING HIM THAT THAT'S A HIGH-CHAIR.
HE'LL BITE OFF YOUR PATELLA.
is the author of most World's Worst FanFics. He's accomplished this through
an understanding that some things, like midgets and lower primates, are
inherently funny. It is for this reason that Pic finds Gary Coleman to
unintentionally be the funniest person ever to exist. Okay, so maybe you
don't find him that funny, but we do, so back off, bitch.
Other than writing horribly funny fanfics, Pic, a midget with a superiority
complex, spends most of his time yelling a lot and ordering people around.
It's a good thing we all think he's so damn funny, or he'd have been drop-kicked
into a sewage treatment plant a long time ago.
SO MAYBE PERC DOESN'T LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THAT. BUT THE PROBLEM IS,
HE LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL IN PICTURES. THIS IMAGE IS A MUCH BETTER
REPRESENTATION OF HIS PERSONALITY. JUST IMAGINE THIS GUY ABOUT 40 YEARS YOUNGER AND WITH
GLASSES. THE LIPS ARE ABOUT RIGHT.
nerdy sidekick (Or is Pic the sidekick? We never can tell. [He's the sidekick.
- Perc]), who does all of the web design and programming for TFWW. He
started out as a male model, and after a brief career in the porno industry,
Perc settled down and took up web design.
he wasn't one of the original creators, a blatant case of favoritism and
no small amount of talent led to him co-writing a number of fics, running
the web page, and creating much of the plot behind our continuity-bound
WE'VE CAPTURED WALKY IN HIS ONE AND ONLY CONTEMPLATIVE MOMENT. OF
COURSE, HE'S JUST TIMING HOW LONG IT WILL BE UNTIL HIS NEXT BOWEL
The picture is no exaggeration. Walky is one of the skinniest people we've
ever seen. He's the poster child for the right to die movement. After
a brush with Walky, starving Ethiopian people say, "Whoa, at least I have
Walky is the creator of Killer Bot King Man, a recurring WWFF character.
He's also a genuine freak with a predilection for poo. Really.
OF THESE GUYS IS HOOKS. WE'RE NOT QUITE SURE WHICH.
is...well, Hooks. He was also one of the original creators of the World's Worst FanFic. His muscles are inhumanly big and he scores with women.
A lot of women. God, we hate him. It's a good thing he doesn't come around
here any more, or we might have to KICK HIS ASS! Who are we kidding? We'd
have to hide under the sink.
So now you know everything you can possibly know about the World's Worst
FanFic without actually reading one. I suggest that you start by reading
WARendfeld's first Saga, and then reading the first WWFF. Continue from
there and read the rest of WAR's stuff and MG-Dinobot's fics (our other
source of inspiration in the beginning) at your own risk.
Note: It's called Ask a Transformer, not Ask AS a Transformer.
We don't want to get any more letters from people pretending to be Transformers.
We know all the Transformers, and they would never say any of that stuff.
For Primus's sake, people, can't you follow instructions? You all make